When I came to New York for my Hard Rock Cafe experience I joked that my time here would turn me into an asshole. Some questioned how that would be any different than BEFORE New York. Apparently my friends are comedians. We all know New Yorkers have a certain reputation for not being the kindest people, though I never believed every single person in New York was some kind of raging jerk who refused happiness at every turn. But you have to think reputations are born somewhere right? What I have discovered is that most New Yorkers are very nice. My coworkers at the Cafe gladly answer my stupid questions about the city and the people I meet in stores, restaurants, coffee shops and pubs have all been great too.
On some level I was disappointed to not find the rude, loud-mouthed jackasses I expected, and felt I was being cheated out of a genuine New York experience. Then just when I was about to write that reputation off as complete fiction, the big apple redeemed itself in the form of an angry little middle-aged woman.
I was walking in the Hells Kitchen neighborhood and about 15 feet in front of me was a tall lanky young guy in his early 20’s. He had earbuds in and was staring down at his phone as he walked, oblivious to the world around him. I don’t know if he was texting, playing a game or crunching numbers on solar and wind generated power in a valiant attempt to solve the world’s energy crisis. Either way he wasn’t bothering me.
Then almost out of nowhere this woman walking towards us just starts screaming at him.
“WHAT, YOU JUST WALK ALONG LOOKING AT YOUR PHONE?!!”
He doesn’t even look up. Probably had loud music playing.
“YOU WON’T EVEN LOOK AT THE WORLD AROUND YOU! PUT YOUR DAMN PHONE AWAY!”
By this point she is almost on top of him and he notices her for the first time. She grabs his hands and starts moving them around, then lets go to mimic him as if staring down at an imaginary phone in her own hands.
“OH, MY PHONE IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. YOU SONS OF BITCHES ARE GOING TO KILL SOMEONE WALKING ALONG AND NOT LOOKING UP AT ALL!”
I’m not convinced the kid heard any of this tirade. If so, he never acknowledged it and continued on his journey. At this point she looks right at me as if wanting my approval. I gave her a shoulder shrug, as if to say “kids these days.”
I kept walking and as I passed her she turned back towards the kid one last time and shouted loud enough for anyone wearing earbuds within three blocks to easily hear:
“YOU F*CKIN’ JERK!!”
The only thing I could think was that I got real lucky. Five minutes earlier I had my phone out too. Whew!
I didn’t capture a picture of this looney lady, so instead I’ll share a different pic I took last weekend. This is looking out my hotel room window at sunset, right after a thunderstorm had passed:
Cool huh?
~JH