There are a lot of great things about being a dog owner. The loyalty, companionship and unconditional love of a furry little creature waiting at the door wagging its tail every time you come home no matter how your day went or how long you’ve even been gone. When I come in from taking the garbage out the dog gives me the same excited look as she did when I got home from my 26 days in New York this past summer.
This tells me that dogs not only love us, but are also horrible at reading clocks. Unless it’s feeding time – then suddenly their internal stopwatch rivals the most accurate atomic clocks on earth. One of the things less fun about owning a pet is the trips to the veterinarian. Sure at first the dog just thinks we’re going for a car ride – something she loves to do. Grab my keys and her leash and she’s right there at the door waiting to go be my co-pilot on some awesome adventure to the gas station, bank or liquor store. Usually the liquor store.
That’s Millie riding in the front seat making sure I don’t miss any turns… though I have to be careful not to listen to her directions or we’ll end up at Chuck and Don’s or some other expensive pet food place. She has a one-track mind.
Like most dogs the adventure turns ugly once we get to the vet, which we had to do the other day. They are a very good clinic and have always been great to our dog. So being the good owner I am, I warned the dog in advance and surprisingly, she was cool with it. She said she didn’t mind going there because the vet keeps her healthy. I thought that was a pretty mature attitude for a dog. She even said she wanted to bring them an early Christmas present as a thank you for all the years of good treatment.
That is the present she picked out just before we had to leave for the appointment, even wrapping it herself. We loaded it up in the truck and headed on over to see the good folks at the Blaine Veterinary clinic. The dog needed a little help carrying the gift bag in but was proud to give it to the vet herself. They were excited to be getting a present from one of their patients, and decided not to wait for Christmas and open it up right then and there. What did they find? A small, fresh and still slightly warm pile of poop.
“Oh good, you remembered her stool sample,” the vet said looking at me. I looked down at Millie and she just looked up at me with a big dog smile.
“Yeah, sure… a stool sample,” I said.
Good thing the sample was due, because as far as presents go… it was pretty shitty.
~JH